Being Kissed

kissMany years ago I told a friend I don’t like being kissed: it makes me uneasy!

Now I am totally disabled except for my left arm and my head. I am fortunate to have many friends who come and visit me; when they come most of them kiss me. Some, mainly women, kiss the air near my cheek with our cheeks touching, or actually kiss my cheek. I have one friend who has never kissed me: she says she isn’t from a kissing family and somehow our smiles when we meet each other are warm enough to suffice.

Many years ago when I was first in a wheelchair, Adrian, my husband, and I went to a party; my women friends mainly kissed me and often sat on the floor so as to be roughly at my height and then we could talk; only one man kissed me.

Later, when I told my friends of this, we agreed that manoevring oneself to kiss someone in a wheelchair is not easy. After this conversation with my friends they obviously had told their husbands about my situation, and their husbands were always prepared to give me a kiss when they saw me. Only one person has asked me if he could give me a kiss; this was after a warm exchange.

Now people come to see me when I’m in my wheelchair or bed and I happily accept their kisses. As I can’t move I am a sitting duck whether I’m in the chair or in bed!

Some people will kiss me on the forehead. There are a number of men who kiss me on my lips which, when it first happened, I felt was a bit intrusive, but now I feel quite honoured and happy to accept such kisses.

Another tactile experience I have with other people is that they hug me or put a hand on my shoulder or arm or knee which to me says they are not overwhelmed by the situation and they are empathetic with me.

I hope my friends will enjoy this writing for my blog. I do not want anyone to change what they do.


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2 Responses to Being Kissed

  1. lucy says:

    hi I loved your piece on kissing. Writing about such a subject is very James family, I don’t think lots of people would see it as a subject to be spoken about but your piece felt direct and true and beautifully expressed.

  2. Jonathan Smith says:

    Well done Mum, another interesting anecdote from your clearly different perspective. Keep writing!

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